Oz Blogs

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Home

ok so now I’m back home and i didn’t think I’d actually be arsed writing a blog seen as nobody reads it apart from john, and he wont even bother doing that (probably) now I’m back. 

Getting back was in one way what i needed, but on the other hand i was on a loose reality of what home actually was.  After my 14 hour flight from the capital city of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur I arrived early doors  in the capital of my home land.  My next destination was to get to sams house.  Sam is a good mate, although i hardly ever see her, i always enjoy the banter with her and her fella, the hink.  They are a crazy couple who have recently moved into a new flat in London.  Gregor, on a long stint off work decided that he should come down and enjoy an ale up in London and see their new flat.  Having landed at around 4.30am, and then waiting an absolute age for my bag to come through, I was getting the 'standstead express' to the city.  I’m glad to report it was my first successful jib since being back.  Saved me about 20 nicker, £20 nicker i could later spend on ale.   I arrived at sams about 7am, i decided to ring gregor to come collect me from nearby, only because i knew sam wouldn't make it out of bed.  The fat man awoke, not so pleased about it.  He came around the corner to show me the way to the gaff.  I knocked on the door which was opened to sam saying 'come here and have a feel'. To which I obliged and got tucked in.  From there on i emptied my bag of merch, distributed presents and at precisely 10 am cracked open a bevvie.  a can of red stripe. Ideal.  We just spend the day dossing about watching porn, kipping and drinking.  I cracked open the gin that I had acquired in the duty free when the hink came home from work.  the plan was to go out with a few of sams mate, one lad was coming called tom gibbo, everybody told me I’d love.  When he arrived to the weatherspoons we where drinking at he offered a hand, called me 'geeze' and inisted on getting me a pint.  fair to say i like the lad.  so the rest of the night ended up with the ‘gary mac’ song getting sung during a spurs game on the TV, me getting wasted and not remembering a thing the next morning.  I like to make these blogs my own words, not that of others, unlike David lee roths autobiography which is made up of 75% other peoples stories about him.

So the morning after, the last leg of my jaunt began.  Euston to Liverpool. Rang me mar en route asking for a lift.  she said do i want picking up in Runcorn.  I said nah, I want to see my city and the liver buildings.  So she did.  Stinking of ale, two days without a shower and a bag full of dirty clothes, me mum was well happy to see me.  She didn’t make a fuss but I could see she was made up.

The last month of my trip was relatively uneventful.  Bangkok, everybody is out to rip you off.  As a lonesome traveller I found it hard to get around and get basic sound advice.  I just tried to keep my whit’s about me and my stance strong when I didn’t want to do something people requested of me (like when a Tuk Tuk driver takes you unannounced to a suit shop).  The city is a dump, but it’s other Thai delights that lure peoples into the cities charm.  The people generally are really nice (if they’re not ripping you off).  By this time I couldn’t be arsed doing all the sight seeing, I just wanted to pass away my days.  I’d spend most of my days walking around the citys street and backstreets, getting blag merch for me mates and going to local stadia.  I didn’t really warm to the city, even after the eventful ping pong show.  I never knew the uses for darts, cigarettes, razor blades, nails, horns, whistles and ping pongs where compatible with a females genitalia, but they do, believe me.   I spent a week in Bangkok, and I managed to get out to most areas of the city, but when my overnight train arrived at the platform, I was more than happy to depart. 

The over night train was sound.  My main destination was the island of Phuket , but the train dropped me off some 5 hours away.  I jumped on a coach, which was showing gladiator in Arabic and the rest of the journey few by.  I’m sound doing long journeys now.  Five, ten, fifteen hour journeys are nothing to me.  As long as I have a fully charged I pod, a packer of werthers original and somebody to chat to, I’m grand.  Phuket was alright.  Did a day razzing around on scooters that we hired.  That was cool, but I only spent a few days in Phuket.  The boss thing about doing south east Asia in the off season is that its not rammed for of knobs.  Most hostels I went to where empty.  10 bed dorms with maybe one or two people in them.  After Phuket I went to a place lonely planet recommends I don’t go to, Hat Yai, a Muslim border town.  Apparently it’s not safe, but I live to type another blog.  In ..Malaysia.. I visited Penang island and Kuala Lumpur. All of them where sound like, but I was running out of money and I couldn’t really do everything that I might have wanted to do.  Although, I was more than happy to come home. 

Told me mar I’m thinking of doing Canada, she fears for my liver

Friday, July 23, 2010

Leaving oz

so i left Australia behind, and to be quite honest i cant say i was sad at all to leave.  Being in Perth for a few days gave me time to think about the awesome times i've had in the country.  the previous two weeks on the ale in Melbourne had actually taken its toll.  a 4th July all dayer with Wes and jacks birthday celebrations managed to extend into a few days rather than the traditional one night out.  to be fair he did well to convince me to come out.  although he knew me well enough by now to know that once i get the taste, i'm caught in the web.

his birthday celebrations where awesome.  just getting lashed up on Jim beam and goon before heading out.  i could write a simple synopsis of the night out, but it wouldn't be my own words.  i simply cannot remember anything apart from waking up the next day under the stairs.  

I was daft enough to think that was that as far as his 22nd celebrations went.  he offered to take me for a pint down Acland street, the next day to which i obliged,  before i knew it i was withdrawing a shit load of cash i didn't have, drinking a cocktail called 'zombie'with five different types of rum inside it amongst other nasties.  this was swiftly followed by a tremendous steak and a few beer in a gaff called Abbey road.  as i walked in i noticed some togger on the TV.  i left the round to Tonya who had come down from Sydney for a few days while i went to check out the TV.  Tranmere v.s Liverpool from the FA cup. Brilliant.  Its what you want.  a maccies later and we are back in the apartment, hitting the goon and generally mocking wes over his recent ''issues''.

so Singapore is cool.  its nice to walk around, clean and pleasant.  but not a great deal to it.  you could literally be in any city in the world. Top Shop, Marks and Spencer, Wendys and dunkin doughnuts are all in the city that also served up pigs intestine on street corners.  its a simple blend of western culture and eastern cuisine.  Live crabs, turtles, fish and frogs all available for you to choose and the chef to cook in many city center restaurants.  Beers after 9 bells become ridiculous, talkin maybe 8 nicker a pint.  

many out of town centres have food halls or even food huts on most street corners.  they offer cheap beer.  my usual gaff is a place me and an Irish lass called Nicola like to call the ratt shack.  yes it serves food and beer with the added delight of rats and cockroaches running around the place.  a few stray cats look on to complete the food chain.  it may sound like the worst place, it is, but ive had a few beers there and its funny to see everything around and how little notice the locals take.

so tonight i'm taking it easy, make sure me bag is ready for my midday flight to bangkok.  might go out and have one beer in the shack though

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Quiet times

Since my last entry I have lost my bollocks to the cold.

Chasing the sun should have been the better call to make, but I didn’t, I thought I’d pass the sun on the highway down the coast rather than up. And now I’m paying.

 Leaving Brisbane with Sydney in our sight, we were all eager to get to our destination.  South of Brisbane the only real highlight is Byron Bay. Its a small surfers town and is at the most eastern point in the land.  From the famous lighthouse you can clearly see humpback whales swimming and splashing around as they migrate south (I’m not the only one with that idea).  Dolphins can be spotted too.  Its cool because the dolphins come really close to the bay jumping in and over the waves.....

I didn’t actually try surfing in Byron, I did that in surfers paradise.  It’s solid.  Try catching a wave first, then stand, and then look cool.  I failed on all three points and though I’d hang up my board.  Surfers and the gold cost is nothing special really.  If you where Australian then yeah, it’d be a swell place to go and get on one with your mates, but to an old time boozer like me, its nothing new....

The road trip didn’t really have much else to report.  On the last day, I was the designated driver, only because Hannah would shit herself at driving through Sydney and Jens is a garbage driver.  It was actually the perfect end to the trip as the excitement of driving across the harbour bridge came closer.  Its only a bloody bridge, but i was well excited to drive across it and to finally arrive in Sydney still as a 4 piece was an achievement, given we didn’t know each other before cairns.....

In Sydney we all parted ways for the first night.  I decided to stay in a hostel with a few mates in the city rather than at the cross.  I knew Dana and Matt from Fraser Island and though a goon up with them should be high on my agenda.  The first day we just got straight on the ale.  The hostel was well cool.  It was a shithole mind, but all the people living there had such a good attitude and made everybody new feel welcome.  Same can be said for the staff, i had a great time there and it’s slightly changed my perception of Sydney.  One night the hostel hosted some chocolate wrestling.  8 girls, 50 litres of chocolate sauce and a paddling pool.  It was a night of good clean family fun, and was followed by an England game.  All in all it was a fucking great night.  Its hard to put into words some nights out and how much of a laugh you have, but if you know me, you can take my word for it.  ....

So now I’m back in Melbourne, where it all begun really, if you forget about Adelaide that is!  I’m living with Jack and Wes who are putting me up for free.  They said just make sure the beer is always in the fridge and you’re ok to stay.  Living with us are two Swedish girls, Josephine and Veronica, both proper cool and easy to get on with.  I’d met them last time i was here.  I’ve also been back to my old house to chill with Kass and Gero.  Its just dead cool to be able to drop in on friends in different places and feel totally at home again.  Going lip piercing shopping with gero this week.   I’ve been toying with the idea for ages, but have always shit out and weighed up the idea of cost versus will it suit me.  I don’t think it will and therefore don’t want to spend the money.  But no harm in looking ehh?....

So the temperature is pathetic here. Hood up and scalf over face is the order of the day.  I love Melbourne, but maybe not so much in winter.  ....

The next task on my list is deciding what to do next. Alice, Perth or Asia.  Well, I’ll go to Alice.  I should have gone straight from Sydney to Asia, but to be honest, i can’t say no to a good ale up....

Sunday, June 13, 2010

road trippin

So my east coast assault has finally begun.  This could be a long one, so grab a beer, or if you have anything hand stolen in Alice Springs, that will suffice (shindog).

As it happened, i didn’t leave the next day, it was the day after.  The short plan of the big trip was this,

 

·         4 people

·         1 car

·         3 nationalities

·         1 ale monster

·         1 rather large car journey

Cairns to Sydney is the task, all be it the main task, but as predicted in my own thoughts, little sub tasks would emerge en route to the idiots capital of Australia.  Lil’ Marie is the vehicle, a pre 1985 van that sleeps two people and runs on leaded petrol (we have to add a lead replacement into the fucker) .  my guess if we were to scrap the car we would get as much money for it to get about 10 minutes down the road  on a bus.  I have no love for the car.  It’s a piece of shite, but somehow getting us successfully from a to b.  

 

So we finally left cairns, i did nothing there really other than relax for two weeks and catch up with jade.   

 

The road trip begins. I’m not going to bother typing about every place, can't be arsed but what I will say that it’s not easy.  Finding a valid place to stay where everybody is actually happy can be hard and also just finding somewhere that we can cook food can be annoying, but after two weeks I think we are getting the hang of it.  So far I’ve slept in a public park, under the stars on the beach (at the town of 1770), on the rocky grass verge at emu park and a few other locations down the coast.  A few nights into my trip I managed to meet up with a friend Kelsey.  On that night I successfully threw up for only the second time since I’ve been in the country. T’was awesome to see her again and I had a right laugh getting on one.  my travel mates don’t drink as much as me, which I think is a blessing for my liver and my wallet.  

 

Hannah is from England, Jens is from Germany and Majoline is from the Netherlands.  All are awesome people and we are having a good laugh touring it up.

 

Actually, this might not be so long.

 

So right now I’m in a place called deception bay.  I’m here because Hannah has some relatives here, quite what the tenuous link to her actual family is, I’m unsure, but they have been awesome.  From the first minute I arrived they have made me feel more than welcome taking us out for dinner.  Peter even took time out of work to take us to the glass House Mountains and yesterday we spent the day sailing and drinking tea.  Perfect.

 

Last night I went out on one in Brisbane city.  The England game was on at half four in the morning. At first I couldn’t really be arsed, but as soon as I managed to bunk the train I knew it was going to be good night. I arrived in the city about half 11, just in time for the Argentina game and headed to the Southbank area to watch it.  The bars there are quite swanky; most lads look like they dress in whatever FHM says and the girls in a typical Australian style unable to handle their drink whilst looking rather pleasing on the eye.  Half time I went to the outdoor pub in the middle of the mall called the pig and whistle.  Just chilling in there with a pint of Carlton Draught I got chatting to two lads from Byron bay.  One a drug dealer by trade, the other, a lacky with a thirst for money and phobia of Clearasil.  We got chatting about drug movements up and down the coast, the cost of 'ice' and 'MDMA' was a major sticking point in the drug market.  He also was a considerate dealer who would only deal to people who he thought could 'handle' his drugs.  Nice.  I entertained the conversation a little before making a move to the other pig and whistle via Hungry Jacks.  There seemed to be a mass movement of people to the pub, and my ability to find a good boozer to watch the game in cannot be ignored.  This place was bouncing two hours before the game.  The sad thing is though that during the game the place began to empty out for some reason, nothing drastic, but noticeable.  I was recommended to go there by some fella in Hervey bay, I met him and his scouse mate and got on one.  Their friend was Paul Stuart of former England and Liverpool fame, shook his hand but didn’t get a photo.  Livid the game report you can read on the net, but I was more fuming at being denied ale at 4.57 than greens howler.

 

i eventually got back home to bed about 11 bells after falling asleep on the train and missing my stop.

 

It’s been awesome to come to a house and stay for a few days after the nonstop action of the Whitsundays and Fraser Island.  The latter I will forever remember as being up there as the best few days of my life. 

 

We did a 4WD self safari around the island.  Two groups of 8 people, two cars and a shitload of goon + Fraser island = a mess.  I’ve never been good at maths, but these numbers added up to me as everybody brought at least 4 litres of goon for the trip.  I actually had the pleasure of driving first.  I’ve never done 4WD'ing before but I was man enough to step up to the plate.  after all the briefings on what you can do and what you cant do slowly eroded out of everybody’s brains as fast as the sand on the island it was goon o clock.  The island is paradise.  The world’s largest sand island is something that everybody should get out to see, but the freedom (kinda) to explore on your own safari was the key to the enjoyment. As with all hire cars you try to look after them and be sensible for the first few hours then go nuts.  We didn’t actually go nuts, but we went against anything that was requested of us.  The honest truth is that id wear down the keys on my keyboard too much if I typed all the broken rules.  The car was named at first mc lovin, but then we decided ODB would be more apt. cracking on the goon in the back of the car with no stable base to divide the unholy drink it was chaos.  Throw in a few tunes, sing song and national anthems; the afternoon of that days was looking like it was going to be a blinder.  We arrive at a lake we were not allowed to be at (only tour operators can go there), we show up, fucked out of our skin, and we didn’t pass go nor collect $200 as we headed straight for the water.  The thing is though the more time in the water the less time you have to drink so we devised another simple game.  As the old fogies looked on in disgust our new game of 'swim with your pants on your head' proved to be a simple game enjoyed by both genders.  The sight of 16 pissed up backpackers treading water in the middle of one of the most picture Esq lakes in the world, all with their pants on their head must have looked amazing. 

 

As the night sky drew in, Hannah’s guts came out as a day on the goon reared its ugly head.  The definition of legless? yep.  Still though, with the dingos all around, we sat up drinking and singing oasis songs. Classic night.

 

The next day (our only full day on tour) our itinerary did not get a glance.  We had an itinerary because of the tidal patterns, which basically meant that at some point parts of the island are inaccessible during certain times of the day.  This posed no problems for ODB as we tore through the ocean in a race to find land before our jeep was fed to the whales. Sometimes up to around 5 seconds would pass before the ocean spray would clear from our window screen, savage times.  Take a look on face book for me photos, some are awesome.  the last night i just got fucked, sang barca songs  and told the David Gilvarry Ibiza story, amongst others.

 

With a token hangover that only a pancake can shift, Hannah did what she does best, and that’s cook a good pancake.  its what you want after a heavy night when you actually don’t recall getting into bed.   

We get back to the hire place after a manic three days very proud of ourselves and ODB while Mr. Mechanic looks over the car.  At this point our moods changed.  The mechanic starts to fume.  This was not a textbook fume, but the most feared of all, a john needham esq fume.  With a red face, an alcoholics nervy/angry shake and the temper of Roz in the morning this guy lets rip.

“Thousand dollars that guys, thousand dollar job that guys, fucking pathetic”.

I was just standing there while this guy boots off about the saltwater damage to his car and all i can think about is when he is going to piss off so i can finish some goon off.  The damage was bad, honestly, really bad.  Assessed by a few people, the engine was white, full of salt.  It was brilliant, a joyous moment in my head as we have successfully wrecked a car without even knowing, and we did such a good job wrecking it to make this guy fume this much.  We ended up paying 60 bucks each, but for every rule we broke it was money well spent,  I enjoyed the satisfaction of knowing that we are the ‘one group’ that will be spoken about at every briefing from now on.  Maybe next time i might follow the itinerary though.

Did we drive in the ocean?  Yes.

I’m bored of this blog now, the cut of the jib is, I’m having a blast

 stay classy

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Sunburn

its an absolute cunt

Christmas day, he last day in kakadu and now the great barrier reef are the locations where i have manages to 'catch' the sun.  sometimes the sun is a cunt.  my latest burn in my journey towards skin cancer is the worst of the lot.  at the reef i forgot to put any on my back, and after a total of 4 hours face first in the water and my collecting the rays, i paid big time.  you can rent wet suits or stinger suits which are all UV protected for 10 bucks, but i didn't buy into any of that tourist tax, although in hindsight, i did end up spending 10 bucks on after sun.

the great barrier reef is unlike anything I've ever seen before.  the elaborate and complex combination of coral that oozes colour and mystique is just mind blowing.  add to that the hundreds of fish swimming around you make for an environment you just feel so relaxed within.  i noticed as most of the tourists got bored after an hour and went back to the boat to top up their tan, i decided to stay in the water as this is a once in a lifetime experience.  I'm so happy i did because as the tourists piss off more fish come out to play.  literally hundreds of them, and as i was just floating on my own in a very shallow part of the reef, my namesake came to visit.  without even stopping to even take notice of me a shark measuring around a meter and a half just swam right beneath me.  for some reason i felt calm, and even began to swim after it, it was an amazing sight that only myself and a German girl seen.  apparently they don't attack humans in this area, but I'd never want to find out if they do.  i was fuming a little that i didn't find nemo, but doree was out in force.

as you may of gathered i survived my skydive.  i cant really put the experience into words that will justify the experience, but i'll have a go.  i was picked up at 11bells from my hostel. me and another guy from Norway.  i felt fine and relaxed as we made the hour and 20 minute journey to the landing site.  checking in and signing the forms that say "skydiving involves elements of 'luck' " to further lubricate your already nervous arsehole. but not mine, not today.  i felt sound, just chatting with people all day.  people went up two are 3 at a time, and i has the misfortune of being in the last group.  as everybody landed i felt calm listening to their experiences, not even thinking about mine.  and then the time come for me to strap up.  i was doing it with a Japanese guy, he was sound like.  fitting the harness was easy, as was the walk to the plane and getting in.  my preconception of these moments would involve weak legs and a racing heart, but i felt grand.  i never like flying, so in this piss poor excuse for a plane i felt usually calm, because i knew i had a parachute local if we needed to bail.  higher and higher we went, to an altitude of 14,000ft.  it took around 20 to 25 minutes to reach the height before the pilot gave the 3 minutes signal.  then the little wee jap started to strap himself to me.  this again reassured me as i was now so tight to him that if i fell to my death, I'd make it in the Japanese press too.  all buckled up and ready to go the prior instructions where reiterated to me again. 

"when door open, you put legs out and cross arm pwease"

there where actually two instructors on single dives and two other sets on tandem dives.  so as the door opens the cold chill of the air rushes into the plane.  we are now well above the cloud cover that made the world below a murky overcast day.  the sun was shining above the clouds and the first two guys jump out and disappear in less than half a second.  then the next group shimmy their way to the door and,,,,gone,,,,and the third group shimmy their way to the edge and then....gone all in a flash.  Then mr fuji game me the signal.  again, preconecpetions of this moment relayed in my mind of how id never let go of the door or just bail out aty the last minute.  so we reached the door, my legs hanging over the edge and arms crossed i waited for the 3---2----1---bingooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  never happened because when i was at 3 i think i was already 500ft below the plane!  mr jap basically just had me on the side and jumped over my shoulder causing us to somersault through the air.  it was such a surreal feeling as the clouds approached.  the wind doing a job to dry my mouth that reminded me of the dentist.  as we hit the clouds they began to condensate against my glasses.  i can remember how fresh the air was and how it too ages to get through this kkk gown in the sky.  the other side soon approached and the grey overcast day came to sight, as did the view over the bay and the fields below.  we where still hurtling towards the floor at this point in a free fall which lasted for ages.  my partner then actually gave me the countdown with his fingers,333333333333,,,,,,,222222222222222222,,,,,,,11111111111111111111111 and then he preceded to cross his fingers in front of my face before he opened the chute.  it was such a rush which didn't end until we hit the floor.  he gave me control of the parachute to turn and do as i pleased before he guided me into land.

apparently I’m leaving tomorrow, but I'm so fucked from dehydration and the sunburn and just generally not sleeping well.  I’d love to get on one tonight, but i canney see that happening.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Is it Thursday?

Apparently its Thursday. 

this morning i awoke after having a blinder of a kip after a rather less than strenuous day.  a few new lads in the room woke up with killer hangovers to go out and extend their stay, and after they did so hit the sack to waste another day in Cairns,  not me though.  yesterday i acquired a mass of chilled out music, something which my i pod has always lacked.  lying in bed contemplating showing my face to the world outside, i decided against in favour of 'The XX'.  just getting into the music there was a knock on the door.  i just thought it was some bell who had forgotten their key, alas no.  one of the lads eventually lost their rag at the knocking on the door at near breakneck speed so he could return to his *insert female name* themed dream, some million miles away from the raging thunder that lurks between his ears. 

"is, err, Andrew here"?  says some German bell who told me off for leaving the fridge open for less than a minute while i took the milk out to make a brew.

"yeah lad, present" i replied,

"you were supposed to check out at 10am" said the lad

now me being a smart arse who generally is never wrong replies,

"I'm booked in 'till Thursday mate", and with the whole room now awake he replies

"it is Thursday"

i just burst out laughing as did the room full of lads, but no surprise jimmy German didn’t, he just told me i had 15 minutes to pack me stuff and move to another room.  so i did.  i think he just did that to spite me a little.  that was the only free bed in the room and they just moved me to another spare bed.  not arsed anyway.

Being in Cairns, I’ve had a chance to actually relax.  I'll have been here for two weeks on Monday, and hopefully I'll be leaving that day too.  its funny really that two weeks a year usually caters for most of the UK's population in regards to holidays abroad.  time just goes so fast, as has the last 8 months.  but at least mine continues.  this week with a friend from my room (and 3 other people) we rented a car and visited the Atherton tablelands.  the best way of explaining Cairns is that is it surrounded by hills that are covered in tropical rain forests.  the cloud in the mornings hovers lazily on the hilltops before the afternoon heat comes and the cloud precipitates before making another appearance for sunset.  driving around these areas there are a litany of utopian waterfalls and textbook views.  yes i did visit the very waterfall where Peter Andre shot the mysterious girl video, but i don’t think that was the highlight of the day.  the best part of the day goes to the rockslide at Mt Josephine Falls.  the water has eroded part of the river bed and a steep rock formation so you are then able slide down.  the rocks are so smooth and slippery, it was just great fun.  the current of the water is strong so that pushes you down even faster into the pool of water below.  awesome fun.


I’ve been playing a bit of football most days, eating well for very cheap and living in a clean and friendly hostel.  as my days draw to a close though my excitement for the next few days enhance.  tomorrow for no other reason than to see how wide my arse goes when presented with a life threatening situation I'm throwing myself out of a plane.  14,000ft is the first stop in a journey to the floor.  I'll be free falling hopefully for 1 minute, anything more and I'll be on the radio to Houston, if i had a radio that is.  I'm quite relaxed about it to be honest, but i know I'll be cacking ones self at 11 bells tomorrow morning.

Then on Saturday I’m o double f to the great barrier reef.  Just doing a day trip, a bit of snorkelling, maybe a scuba if the price is right, but i guess Saturday depends on if I'm alive after Friday.

i know loads of people in Cairns, and two more arrive tomorrow, Char and toto come to town for what i guess is going to be a four day knobbing secession disguised as a holiday.  fair play, its just an elaborate waste of money coming to cairns to do so.  they should take a leaf out of roz's books who only needs a van and a swag. cheap as chips.  t'will be good to see them both and catch up on all the gossip that amasses in the small outback town, but i guess the constant changing storylines to peoples life in Alice is part of the charm that keeps people in the red centre.  so if they are around on Sunday they can take part  in another leaving ale up, that is if I'm still alive......

thing is though, i can't die young, I’ve got a feeling the people of Liverpool are going to need me one day

Thursday, May 13, 2010 

The eclipse of the tub-thumper

usually when i read other peoples blogs their wit and superior use of the English language shines through like the unwanted sun on an extremely hung-over afternoon, so I'll just stick to transcribing the facts in my own little scouse way and hope that i don't sound like a delinquent.

Last week in Darwin i was just mooching about listening to the sex pistols standing at a crossing.  not paying too much attention to the very high standard of clunge that floats around the sun clad city.  when i noticed a said piece of clunge * see below* waving across the road.  as per the usual routine, look down at ipod, make sure the Mr rotten and his merry men are still a maximum volume before resuming to the task of crossing the road assuming that the wave was intended for somebody else. I looks up,  but she was still waving at me.  Not like a spack or nothing.  As I crossed, she waited, and as she took off her shades and a recognized her, Fay.  I lived with Fay for about 3 months in Melbourne, top girl.  she was in Darwin to work after doing the east coast.  i was made up to see her.  it was nice just seeing a familiar face.  i was still a bit down after leaving the girls in Alice, but this made up for it.  Susan was also in town who i also bumped into later on.   i kindly offered to take them out for a free dinner at the Vic.  had a few free vouchers you see, just call me Jude law.  it was dead nice just catching up with them and hearing about their inevitable dramas that they encountered up the east coast.  Fay, a former star of the show ladette to lady was always going to shag as many people as she punched up the coast, so stories were told and the ale flowed.  just made me think of how I’m going feel when i get back on the rik mayll with the boys at home.  They surly will have a few stories

so with bleary eyes, a Chelsea title win and an all-nighter pulled, my time was up in Darwin.  with a 5:30 am flight to catch to the sunshine state (what a load of bollocks that is by the way) another time zone needed to be crossed in order to reach Cairns.  Darwin was kind to me in the end.  i changed hostel and met some good people.  i have found that if you spend more of your time in quieter, smaller hostels then your chance of talking to people and actually seeing them again increase, in so-fact-o you'll have a better time.  my bus to the airport was at 3 bells, out to the airport and quite possibly goodbye to the Northern territory for good.  

Arriving in Cairns, in the sunshine state was a pleasure, mainly because i sat next to a fat fucker on the plane.  Although I acquired my mandatory extra legroom place (still Hand Blixxed, but i though more than capable to assist in an emergency) fat fucks always get in the way.  some say that fatties are always happier, i don't buy it.  having a shite in an airplane bog is a tough task for me in any given state, but if you're a bloater i cant see how you would have enough room to wipe your arse.  in no way is that a route to happiness, just a rough arse and some john wayne'itis.

the city of Cairns is situated on the pacific ocean overlooking what is a murky muddy bay that only comes into tide at night.  it looks fucking blag.  if you spend long enough looking out you can see shit loads of crabs crawling around, and that’s pretty much the highlight.  its unashamedly a tourist town.  but its clean, less abbos than Darwin and seems to have a decent night life.  one which i will sample, but not right now.  my days so far have consisted of meeting up with Jade who i also lived with in Melbourne and walking around touring the city.  I've met a girl who has a van who is going down the east coast in a week.  I'm thinking of hanging around and hopefully go with her and a few others down the coast.  fingers crossed that pulls off.  in the mean time I'm going to book a trip out to the reef which is going to be cool and also I'm planning a sky dive from 14,000 ft.  its like $210, but if you want the DVD its an extra $99, which to be honest i cant be arsed buying, I'll have an arsehole wide enough to prove to anybody that i actually did it.

My hostel which I'm staying in is cheap, clean and tidy, and i also get a free dinner every night.  I've been off the ale for two nights now and I'm hoping to make it a 3rd tonight, although i have found a place that brews all of its own ale on site so i might go and lash it up in there tonight, probably on me own and see what mischief i can get up too

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Life in Charles

So I’m in Darwin now.  My last few nights in Alice springs where awesome.  I made some really good friends in Alice, two epically, Sinade and Roz.  well ive known roz for ages now, but sinade is cool as.  Almost as cool as me.  my last day i took a motorbike ride out to glen helen with a friend called Bettie.  we went 130ks out of town and had lunch before taking a helicopter ride.  ive never been on a bike before, nor a helicopter, so that was cool.  it was actually betties 50th that day so there was a little party for her back at her neighbours house.  was a cool night,  we ended up getting off to go to annies so i could say good bye to a few people.  as the ale flowed more people  seemed to be around us.  we had a few drinking games and then we had the idea of taking the van out to the middle f nowhere, drink sing and shout (and for some of us getting ratted in a swag).  Top night and a great way to end my days in Alice.

Without sounding gay I’ll miss the place, but only because sinade and roz are both still there.  They are two top girls and two awesome mates i know/hope ill see again.

i managed to catch a lift up to Darwin with a few mates of sinade.  Kathryn and her two Canadian friends.  they rented a camper van and where heading up and offered me a lift.  they are all really night, but i got on with Katheryn best.  we did it in about 24 hours with a little kip as well for good measure.  Getting to Darwin was a head fuck.  i hadn't prepared myself yet to actually leave, I'd just been partying too hard.  so not having any friends, in a shit hostel and in a foreign place i was on a downer.  i never usually get like that.  i cant be arsed getting down, but i was.  buy i perked up and i was out on tour two days later.  i was booked onto a 3 day tour of the national parks, but when i was waiting to jump onto the bus, a tour guide that i knew said i could jump onto her 5 day tour for free.  so i did just that.  we had an awesome time, and  with this i was able to meet a few people.  the national parks are special and i really enjoyed my time camping out and seeing the wildlife.

i became friends with the people on my tour, tanya and Kerry to name two.  the other night i ended up out and i hit the ale hard with kerry and my tour guide Jess, float onto facebook in a few days and have a look at the photos.  I'll see Kerry again, she left today to go to Alice, but then she is going to cairns.  i think I'm going over to cairns in the next few days, lets see what happens ehh?

Monday, April 05, 2010

Alice is a funny old yoke

One man, three jobs seven days a week.  That’s my current scenario.  I’m trying to work like a who’er to raise as much money as possible.  But with the rise in my job count, my social life seems to have taken a turn for the better.  I’m getting to know more people which has its benefits and drawbacks.  Benefit is more ale and more banter.  Two key elements that form part of my DNA.  The drawbacks is that I’m an ale monster.  Last night sunrise could have been an easy feat but for the flow of the amber nectar to stop. 

I honestly can’t believe how many gay people I have befriended on this trip.  Living in Melbourne with a load of dykes, now I’m living with two gay guys and last night I was on the ale with another muff mower, sinade.  She is fair sound like, works in the golf club with us. 

Tonight is steak night.  They do a cut over here which I’m partial to.  Its called a porterhouse and does a fine job.  recommended.

Last week the Leeds festival line-up came out and I cant wait.  But with the pleasure of thinking about a massive ale up I’m also thinking about getting back home and not having a job.  I suppose working is giving me time to think about these things, but its not going to put me off giving 110% on the ale at Leeds.  I hope GK comes too, in e-festivals speak, he is a strong rumour.

Gutted for the St Christopher’s boys too, just hope they finish second and move up to the first division and the team stays together.  Really looking forward to pulling back on the no 5 shirt again, but that might be some time off.  I’m unfit.  Simple as.  I drink too much and sleep a lot.  I am trying to get out and kick a footie about, but its not the same in the heat.  It kills you.  Getting back and running the team, hopefully make a few sub appearances and I’ll be happy with that.  Next year people will need to muck in more and attitudes might need to change.  At the end of the day me and john set it up so we could all play, have a laugh and maraud through the leagues.  We are doing one of those things, but I’m not convinced on the other.

Plan for the next few months

Darwin. cairns, Sydney. Perth Might chuck in a nasty night in Melbourne too, who knows. Vietnam and Thailand also seem to be on the agenda, but I’ll confirm that one later on.

So tonight actually is a rare day off.  Been nice to doss about, but just as I finished my steak, a storm hit the town, and still is hitting hard.  Dog is crapping itself.  Don’t think I’m doing anything tonight bar seeing to a few Jim beams and watching bear grylls.  Massive kip on the agenda tonight.

Sunday, March 28, 2010 

Alice exit in sight

Times they are a changing, according to Goldie Lookin’ Chain, that’s what Bob Dylan said. Original plans are officially out of the window. Roz got a new job yesterday and they have (dependant on ability) offered her sponsorship, which means that she will be able to stay in the country for another 4 years (5 including her second year which she obtained this week). Massive coup for her, but for me? Well the plans of the road trip have gone. I’m going to let her buy me out of the van and I’ll source a relocation vehicle up to Darwin. I’ll spend a little bit of time in Darwin just getting on my own two feet again and hopefully meeting people. I’m still going to follow the same course but just without me own car nor a buddy. It would have been awesome travelling together, but I believe in fate and it will be for the best. I am fucked off, but eggs in one basket and all that. I’m bang in the middle of a 14 day stint of work between the golf club and ata. I still don’t really know anybody here. There is a party happening tonight, but i don’t know if I’m going to go. See how I feel later on.

 Been trying to contact a mate who I met in Melbourne, Sadie. she initiated contact ringing me, but I didn’t have a signal and it went straight through to voicemail. Well the Australian voicemail service is crap, it don’t even give you the number who rang. She left a message saying that this was her new number. So eventually she text the other day, but I didn’t have credit to ring her back, now I do have credit she aint answered. Livid. She is up on the gold coast, so hopefully I can meet up and get on the ale with her again. Work wise I’m looking to earn 5000 before I leave Alice. I think I’m going to be leaving on the 1st may. I don’t not like it here, I just don’t love it. Small towns are a pain. One of everything, nothing more. Lets go to annies for a drink, where everybody goes. Oh, lets go to bo’s, the place everybody goes after annies. Neither are great. Just depends on who you know I suppose,.

 This town is plagued by the aboriginals. Many offer positive inputs to the local area, but from what I can see most don’t. they just sit around, flogging blag art, sniffing petrol and getting blasted on wine. I am defiantly a city boy. Looking at booking my flights home today. The plan looks like it begins in Thailand, before moving south, down through the various tourist haunts before making it to Kuala Lumpur. From there ill be flying back to London, so I have already asked sam and the Hink if they fancy letting me stay in theirs and if their up for a secession. I only really want to go back for 3 things,

• Footie
• Ale
• Banter

 But I also think that ill leave England again to go and see the world. Just though that a massive plus of not travelling with roz is that I’ll be able to watch most if not all of the world cup. Awesome. So I get to blog often because I have a computer in the house, hopefully when I hit the road I’ll still be able to update it enough. So after the news today about her new job, my head is a little messed, but tomorrow I’ll be focused and preparing to leave Did I mention that I broke my keepy up record? Improved from 36 to 39. DECENT

**Next day** So last night I worked at the golf club, nowt really happened, but one person quit so that possibly means more hours for me. But after work was interesting. As previously mentioned there was a party going on at Michelle and Sheldons house. I just thought I’d take a polite 6 pack around sink that, if its balls get off. When I got there a few people where in the pool so I though the best course of action was to head home after a few beers to obtain more beer. Which I did, but Roz had forgotten her keys, and I don’t have any, so I chanced it (usually somebody is up or the door is open). Got home, door locked. Fuming. So I head back the ‘party’ which was more of a gathering, tried my luck with a girl from korea, no dice, ate some maccies and people started heading off to bed. That’s when the sunrise game came to me. I thought fuck this, I’m in the mood. So I jumped into the van, headed the casino, got chatting to a Liverpool fan watched the footie, had a flutter, you know. Had a few pints, and officially being homeless for the night I just decided to jump into the van and drive to the middle of nowhere and drink the beers that I had snook out of the party. Lucky the van is a 4x4 because I ended up on some dirt track east of Alice Spring. From there I could see the Milky Way. I lay on the roof of the van, havin a drink and a sing. I was fairly fucked by this time.

At about half 4 in the morning, the moon began to set. I saw that as my que to doss in the back of the van. This morning I thought i had awoken in mad max. I was just in the desert with a vague idea of where I was. Eventually found my way home though.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

man at work

Well the ATA job is going fine. If it’s not a little boring or repetitive, it pays me. It’s kinda imperative to me staying out here that I work as much as I can whilst in Alice. Mahers missus wrote on my wall asking why I was still in the middle of nowhere and that I should get to cairns. Well, I will do, just not yet. I think the new revised date to leave is the 19th April. This is fine by me really. A month’s solid work and then see you later. I might still have to work a little on my way up/down the coast, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. The golf club seems to be a poorly run outfit. Regarding my last post about not receiving a call, it never did come. They just thought they would tell Roz who I didn’t see for another day that I would be working on the following Saturday. So I went in and worked a night. Obviously I have already accepted the job at ATA due to a lack of a phone call, but in hindsight, it’s worked out better that way. I’m getting more hours and overtime, the club said that they would not be able to offer me 38 hours a week. They seem to be fucking Roz about too. If she has a blog she can tell you all about that. So they gold course just ring me up when they need me, but as of yet they have not requested my services. I need to go in and see them to make sure I get paid what I’m owed, ditto with the AFL game I worked. Going to go around and have a word with a guy called Lorenzo this week. He wrote off the first car that Roz brought. He took it out, and it fucked up and it was basically a write off. She paid $2700 for it and he agreed to pay her the price of the car. He has paid 2k for it so far and has decided to text her saying that he does not want to pay the other $700, which I don’t think really is on. He didn’t even have permission to take the car out, yet he fucked it. I finally got to watch a Liverpool game this week. The 3-0 win over Lille. I got up at 5 bells for it. I thought it was a dire match, I’m looking forward to the Man U game on Monday morning now. I got a feeling that we are going to get something. Last night I watch the moon set. It set at twenty past eight in the evening. As soon as the moon goes down the stars come out to play even more. I love it. What I hate at the moment are stink beetles. Man alive the wreck my head

Sunday, March 14, 2010

heads gone

Heads gone Been a mad few days. Nothing extraordinary or out of the blue has happened, but every step forward seems to be followed by two steps back. Resulting is a blow to the arl confidence. Bruce – a sub 1995 van with over 300,000k on the meter, battered and bruised is the machine to provide home and transport over the forthcoming months in the long awaited sequel in the road trip series. To be fair to the van, its not its fault that we paid over the odds for it, nor that we ran out of petrol, the van cant even be faulted for me leaving the lights on. In fact due to our own stupidity and naiveness our own confidence and temper has been put to the paces like Dominic Murphy on a football pitch full of Chinese. Employment has also been a massive issue. As previously posted I acquired a job with ATA, but they could not offer me nor Roz the hours that we needed. It was actually on our last tour that we both set a date to leave. I can’t even remember that now. I think it was the 13th April. Yesterday for some reason we were both fucked off with life in general. Neither have much money to spend and neither have much motivation to do anything. A fair dangerous combination. Both more or less jobless, but within an hour everything changed. We had previously applied for jobs at the Alice Springs Golf Course, and we received calls inviting us to an interview as soon as possible. So as I jumped into the van and Roz got ready, I reversed the van out waiting. We park the van on the road which pisses the neighbour off, so he came and had a work. Pleasant fella like, just said it was in his way in the mornings do we mind ect ect. I obliged, introduced myself, he did likewise and he climbed into his car with his son. But then he pulled up next to me winded down his window and asked ‘What accent is that Andrew?’ I just replied, ‘Scouse mate, I’m from Liverpool’ He raised his eyebrows, ‘So do you play footie’ ‘Yep’ ‘Do you want to play footie?’ ‘Yes I do’. He plays 7 a side most weeks and as a team starting 11 a side in a week or two. It would be great to get a bit of playing time in. So hopefully that pulls off and I get a game soon. Then we made our way to the Golf Course, met a Finnish guy called Nick, who looked more Turkish. Probably banned from turkey for having too many offs with the Kariskya boys so he sought an alternative identity. He offered us both jobs, he actually interviewed us at the same time, which was fine by me. We were both to have trials the days after. Myself behind the bar and Roz would be a waitress who would then be trained to be restaurant Supervisor. Both told that fulltime hours are on offer. All seemed kosher. I have been offered another job with ATA but I had been told that it was only for two weeks, urgh. My shift went really well, as did hers, but little differences make all the difference. She was given paperwork on arrival (which I only found out back home), I didn’t. she was invited back today, where was I was to await a phone call. She has a decent rack, I don’t. That might be the telling factor. Funny thing is though, I worked fucking hard, looked like I knew what I was doing, never fucked up, never slacked, the bar manager (not the guy who interviewed me) even told me as much. But still to this moment I have not heard back from them. I could have the job, I might not. But I’m going to decline it anyway. I spoke with ATA today who have a job for me in the yard, and if I do well I should get more than two weeks. If not I’ll get another job within that two weeks. It should be fine. It has perks too. I get to steal loads of food, and also a swag. We literally don’t have to buy food anymore if one of us works there. Plus we can steal stuff for when we leave, whenever that might be. It is a bit of a risk on my behalf, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I’m leaving soon to go to the ATA staff Thursday evening BBQ, free food makes the backpacker world turn. Liverpool are pissing me off too. I read a Tomkins column yesterday that annoyed me. The reason being that he said we ‘overachieved’ last season? Really? Fucking news to me. We had our strongest team in years, we had togetherness and a great never say die spirit. For the first time I have disagreed with something he has said, and for the first time I am beginning to read high profile reds settling for 5th place. I always believe that Liverpool can do it. It’s too easy to refer back to that night Pyley got his nuts to a brass, but even last season should show reds that we can come back when the tide is against us. Portsmouth, man city and also both games against Manchester united (both won from 1 nil down positions). We have lost two players, Arbeloa and Alonso. The latter we miss more. He dictated play, I used to refer to him as playing a quarterback role, picking up the ball and spraying passes with great accuracy. Now we have Lucas, and as graham Kelly rightly pointed out, john pagan is more of a goal threat. Javier hardly mucks in. This season is a write off, but I still think we can make 4th. Its now half 5, no phone call from the golf club. Unless roz has said anything, which I doubt, I don’t think I’ll be getting the call. Which actually puts my mind at ease because I guess it makes my mind up for me. Work officially starts again tomorrow at the ATA HQ, the place that has just fed me camel steaks and snags (sausages). Two beers to boot, with an evening of nothingness ahead, tomorrow will be a welcome change to unemployed life

Sunday, March 14, 2010

So the last week as involved some kilometres for me.  

Me and Roz were looking at buying a van to tour the country in, and the basic plan was to work for about 4 weeks before heading off chasing the sun.  Only being new to Alice Springs basically made it harder for me to land a job.  I have been looking at bar work and other bits and bobs, but nothing came through.  My money is running low, so I really needed a job, but I needed one to be able to afford a van.  Alice is only small, fuck all here really, which actually is great.   The main reason being is that I don’t spend money, apart from rent.  Roz used to work as a hostie for a company called adventure tours Australia (ATA), and she has landed her old job back.  She asked if there were anymore positions available for me, they said yes and an interview was set up.  The interview was a piece of piss to be honest, 5 minutes saying how great I was and before I knew it I had scored a free trip to Ayres rock on a top of the range tour.  Top of the range?  Yeah, basically that tour would be the one that I would be working on, so I needed to see how passengers experienced it before I worked on it.  Even if I didn’t want the job the tour was free.  So a few days later I was out on tour, with Toto as my tour guide we set on a 1500k journey to the rock and kings canyon.  They weather was shite really.  Overcast, bit of rain, windy.  That didn’t ruin the tour though.  Some of the walks I went on blew me away, taking away the attraction of Ayres rock.  The rock is something though.  Walking around next to it you don’t really see how big it is.  I think when you drive around it; it looks unreal, just so different to any of the landscape around it.  If the climb was open, I would have done it.  Not arsed about the abbos saying don’t do it.  If you don’t want people to do it then don’t have a climb facility.  Also I live with a guy who knows some of the elders who actually own the land that the rock is on.  They say that the rock itself is not sacred, but the fenced off areas are, so if people do climb then it’s not disrespectful.  But I guess its something you yourself need to decide if you ever go.  In all fairness it looks fucking dangerous, 35 people in the last 20 years have died on it.  But still though, I would do it given the opportunity.  Sunrise and sunset were a letdown due to the cloud.  The tour was over 3 days, and it was decent because I got to see everything, but later I’ll explain why the weather fucked it up.  The last day we went to king’s canyon.  I’d never heard of it before, but it blew me away.  Have a look at my photos on facebook, I hope they capture the views well, but places like the Garden of Eden, a small utopia inside the mountains would prove to me one of the most relaxing and chilled places I have ever been.  The walk was tough, about three and a half hours, but well wort it, well worth it.   The food on the tour was spot on too, being strapped for cash, I took it to school. 

Now that I have the job for ATA I was asked to go out training, and who would train me?  Roz, which was sound.  I only got back today, but the weather for the trip was spot on.  Clear skies days and night.  I managed to see sunrise at Ayres rock which was unbelievable, and last night I slept out under the stars in a swag.  Lying in my swag (like a one man tent) I could see the entire milky way.  It was awesome.  I could hear dingos howling, crickets hopping about and the campfire crackling away as I chilled with a glass of red admiring the universe.  Only when you see something like that your really appreciate the beauty of the sky at night.  I honestly was blown away.  I also got to go on a salt lake, did a bit of four wheel driving and put somebody in the recovery position.  Yep, after the first day a Danish lady fell ill, we thought it was probably dehydration, so she slept for the night and drank lots of water.  In the mean time her husband got on the ale with us.  A great story he had was when he used to be a tour guide in Germany.  They mainly dealt with couples, but when the tour arrived in Hamburg, the tour tried to split the group male and female.  The females go shopping and this fella would take all the fellas to the ‘pub’, aka the red light district.  He would take the fellas to brass houses where he would get commission, but also say to his passengers that they only had half an hour because they needed to be in the pub in half an hour.  The reason being such a short time is that many males would window shop for ages, this cut that out but also he thought that women would smell a rat if their man returned not stinking of ale.  So he got money off the brass houses for the business he put their way but also some handsome tips off the fellas showing their appreciation. 

The next morning we where just cooking lunch, he and his wife decided not to make sunrise and gave the base walk of the rock a miss.  They just tried to relax, although she was clearly not well.  All of a sudden we heard ‘help help’ from his tent.  Me and Roz ran around. She was on the phone at the time to the site manager nick.  The woman was on her knees having a fit, her eyes behind her head, not responding to our voices.  Lucky enough Roz got nick to order an ambulance for the woman.  Me and her husband put her on the bed, still shaking and making some loud bizarre noises, almost choking.  My first aid course hit and I put the woman in the recovery position.  The last time I did that was when gilvo was too fucked in Manchester! She had bit right through her tongue, blood streaming from her mouth and I somehow stayed calm making sure her airwaves were clear and trying to make sure she didn’t do anymore damage to herself.  It was some 5 minutes before the ambo arrived and I’m not going to lie, if they had been any longer I’m not too sure how the woman would have been on their arrival.  They worked on her for a bit in the tent before moving her to the local hospital.  We later found out that her condition worsened and she was airlifted to Alice Springs.  Not your average first day.  I felt sorry for the guy though, they were genuinely a nice couple so it was not nice to see something like that happen.

I think I learnt a lot from my first trip out, just basic cooking on campfires and time management, but also how to treat guests.  I really enjoyed it.  It helped that I knew the two people I was working with too.  Its going to be my main source of income over the next month, it has to be as we purchased a van the other day.  Some 4WD for $2000.  The plan is now to leave on the 12^th April, just after Rozs birthday.  But she threw a spanner in the works tonight, again.  We went halves on the van, also she is looking for a second year visa, I’m not too arsed.  Brett who we live with works for a company looking for a PA (her former job) with the possibility of sponsorship.  We don’t know when the job starts, when the interviews might be, or even if we are going travelling anymore.  It pissed me off to be honest; literally two or three days back we set a date to leave, but now its up in the air again.  Fuck knows what I’m going to do if she gets the job and decides to stay in Alice; fuck knows what would happen with the van.  I’d be happy for her if she did get it, I told her, but from my point of view it makes the next month hazy.  I don’t want to stay here to be honest.  It’s difficult to make friends outside work; I don’t think her fella likes me (which I’m not arsed about its just that he and all his mates work for the same company).  On the other hand it’s good because I’m not going and getting lashed up every night and because I have a job its great saving money.  The reason why I wanted a bar job is so I could make my own friends and not have to hang around with the tour guides and hostie from ATA.  But I guess I can survive for a month.  I don’t hate it here, in fact I really enjoyed last night just chilling with a beer listening to some music, away from the mad city life that Melbourne offered.  I need to head up the east coast, but I’d rather not do it by myself. 

I’m beginning to miss the footie more and more.  Not being up to date on it kills me.  Having to watch most of the stuff on footie tube is a pain, I actually can’t remember the last live game that I watched.  Hopefully I’ll catch the Wigan game this weekend.  I’ve stopped thinking about what I’m going to do when I get back because the though of it past Leeds weekend is crap.  I’m just looking forward to Leeds so much. I think I’m going to come home via Thailand, maybe just one or two cities, but I’ll just need to see how my money is.  Flights look expensive at the moment, but I need to sort one soon.

Friday, February 26, 2010

waddaya’ hear, waddya’ say?

So did I say that I lived in South Yarra..?  Well actually I don’t, but what a laugh my last few days in Melbourne were.  I have quite a large friend base in Melbourne, most of which stem from my house up in Dandenong.  Recently I binned off my job, for one reason or another, but it was defiantly the right time to go, but it did mean a dint in my finances.  I didn’t really have a leaving party as such, but a few nights before I left Melbourne it was the St. Kilda festival.  This can be compared to the

Matthew Street

festival, but right next to the sea, and with a total ban on street drinking.  Fuming.  Even the offys can only sell you a max of two drinks per person. Livid. Not even a box of goon. Distraught.  The night out consisted of the usual visit to La Roche, and my first and only visit to Big Mouth.  Jack works there, so it was a foregone conclusion I would be getting fucked on free bevvies. Cash back.  I remember it being a top night, rolling around on the floor, and loads of people with us, and the usual square off not started by me, but always involving me. All the girls and lads, bar Ben, Craig and ..Ob..(arrie) who slaved their way though their day in their respective bars.  I woke up in the girls flat after keeping them all awake through some grade A snoring, genuinely not knowing where I was.  I figured it out eventually.  Thing is though, not even a brew in the morning!  Only this green tea shite, when I have a stinger of a hangover I want a brew not some hippy guff.

The next night Albert Park was the venue for a farewell BBQ with the lads.  Its funny really, any park back home would be full of kids on the piss, litter everywhere, dog shite left on the floor.  But not this country.  The park is relaxing, clean and the BBQ’s are clean and free to use.  Throw in a togger and a crate and that’s me set for the night.  We even cleaned up after ourselves.  I think I might have changed.

All the friends I have made in Melbourne  are all quality people, and I really hope I can get out on the ale with them again.  There is no excuse really for the English lads and girls, but I’d love get over the pond to Wes and Riley’s places.  I’d even like to get up to see Kelsey and Caitlin in Canada one day.  When travelling, you meet a lot of people on the way, some are great people given the circumstances, but others you just know that you’re not going to see again.  Which is a shame because maybe you meet could become good friends; it’s just that your roads cross at the wrong time.  People like Abbie, Mark and Sadie.  The amount of time I spent with these guys was minimal compared, but I felt that I would defiantly like to see them again, two back in England, hopefully I’ll see Sadie before I leave. 

Originally after big day out I was going to be travelling up the east coast with Roz, but I can’t be arsed typing about that story.  So I kinda needed a new plan.  Although Melbourne is an amazing city, some of the lads are planning on leaving, and I needed to get out and see more of the country.  Ben, Walley, Craig and ..Ob(arrie) are all off to New Zealand soon.  Out of all the lads, I was the first to leave.  All Roz talks about is Alice Springs., Alice is this, Alice is that.  Everybody else says its shite, as in nothing to do, dusty dirty and shite.  So I decided to move up to the outback and see what all her fuss was about.

So leaving  Melbourne was harder than leaving England.. Roz had been travelling from Adelaide down the great ocean road with her friend to Melbourne. That trip linked up nice for my proposed visit to Alice because we both could catch the same flight up to the northern territory. My last drink in Victoria. was a bottle of Red Stripe.  My first down under.   Still it gave me that nice relaxed easy vibe.  I just wished it was out of a can.  Two and a half hour flight and we arrived in the red centre, the outback, real Australia, Alice Springs... 

Roz has been staying with her former manager; he and his partner agreed that it would be ok for the sir to stay for two weeks, which would be enough time to find my own place with Roz and also employment.  My idea is simple, work, save, buy car, road trip, new liver.  Brett (her former manager) is a great guy.  From the off he made me feel more than welcome, introducing me to the house with a BBQ, but not a normal BBQ.  He created a fire and purchased some kangaroo tail which he cooked in an aboriginal style.  We also enjoyed come camel snags cooked on a normal BBQ.  It’s a great little house in a very quiet area, it also has two kangaroos (.Jaffa. and Columbine) a snake, two cats, a dog and two birds.  It sounds like a zoo, it sounds dirty, but it’s great.  On the night of the BBQ the roos’ were just jumping around us and hopping around the house.

I’ve met loads of Roz’s mates.  They really consist of her workmates and her boyfriend Bender.  He is a really good lad, very patriotic, but not in a snobbish way, but a passionate way, but to be honest, as are most of the Australian tour guides.  It’s quite refreshing really because if they were English they would be frowned upon.  They are all young and they seem to have great knowledge of the country’s aboriginal past and care for its future.  I guess its just the job they do but still, could the same be said for back home?  At the same time is great meeting all her mates, I’m looking forward to making my own.  Hopefully by the end of the week I should have a job.  I have been looking at bar jobs, I should be able to blag one.  If that ends tits up, I had an interview today for a tour guides assistant.  I would be doing tours out to Ayres Rock and back.  I have the job. First I have to actually go out to the rock and experience a tour for myself.  This is a free tour out to Ayres Rock, happy days.  Then I will go out on tour again with a trainer and learn all about what an assistant does out on tour.  It does not look like and easy job, but I don’t mind a bit of hard graft for a while.

So life here is moving nicely, I should have a job soon and Brett has said that I can stay for as long as I need, and he has also rented us out a car for an insane price.  A nice Mercedes (E class I think it is) for a little while.  Hopefully it will be a few weeks before I post again because I will have employment!  Oh and I have even have a place to watch the game, but I was fuming that a power cut scuppered any chance of seeing the city game.  I think it might have been a blessing in disguise.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Unemployed

Sacked off work.  with the superbowl and Liverpool playing arsenal this week, i didn’t want to miss out on the sporting action.  I didn’t even tell work i was leaving, i just switched off my phone and  let them talk to my voicemail.  I’m not really arsed, i would like to keep in touch with a few of the lads.  lets just see what happens ehh?  got a nights work on Saturday working in a vodka bar called 'borsh’, vodka wine and tears'.  I’m only doing dishwashing, but its best getting a little bit of money than fuck all

Friday, February 05, 2010

Jesus Boys

'Jesus boys', said the Irish lad over and over again, 'do us a favour and pass me that yoke there', 'what yoke', 'that yoke, you know, the yoke', what lad the pen', 'yeah lad the yoke'.

Jesus, savage, rehab, yoke, criac and boys. lash them into any sentance and i'd probably say you could talk fluent irish.  i find myself talking like the boys (and some of the girls to that matter).  I'm working with a load of irish, Bubu, Rocky, JD, all top lads.  i have been doing loft insulation now for around 4 months, its been a top laugh and very hard work at times, but worth it non the less.  the great thing is that i have been able to see so much of Melbourne and the suburbs beyond.  its all much of a much, but i suppose its the reason you travel, to see other parts of the world.  some of the ozzies i have met have been great, from beer to baileys and whiskey to measure, all refreshing drinks given to me after i have finished jobs.  butties, cakes and even a burger to take home for me dinner, seriously the people are so nice.  i only really work with rocky, (but see all of the lads every day),  we have the same worth ethic, snooze first, job later, solo after.  most days we set out of the factory and decide how many jobs we fancy doing (we get 6 a day but usually sod off around 2). sometimes we do 2, sometimes we do 6,  depends on how many kips we have, or what pub we get stuck in.  one day we both needed a pick me up, so rocky thought we best polish off a bottle of vodka before work.  i thought sound, we went back to my gaff, 8am, 4 cans of mother (red bull) and a bottle of smirnoff, put the boss on (live in Dublin) and sang the morning away, told 2 customers we wouldn’t be coming, and went out to do 2 jobs before telling another two that we wouldn’t be coming.  brilliant day. although the 5pm hangover was tough.  i'm done with the job now, but the banter is something else.


Hopefully i'll be arsed enough to go and see the victory play against the fury.  be nice seeing robbie play again, and maybe for the last time.  but i'm sure he will do the masters tour in a few years.  if not the boys mooted about doing the 20 20, but its been raining today so i'm not too sure thats a great idea.


Living now in a house in south Yarra, its just off

Chapel street

which is a main drag from north richmond to St Kilda.  Its a really nice house, and i have my own room.  that was quite a coup. 

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The land down under

ok so nobody reads this, also more to the point nobody uses myspace, but i just thought i'd update it anyway

well for the last 5 months i've been living in the land down under.  did a few days in hong kong before i arrived in adilade, i can never spell that right.  its was quiet, not a great deal going on, although i still had a laugh there, before i moved to Melbourne.   Stayed in a hostel called Base, which is just an engine to get you to spend as much as possible in their bar, but one great thing about it is that you get to meet so many people.  not too many people stay there long term so most people are up for getting lashed.  its like freshers week all over again, but for people in their mid 20's.

Melbourne is something else, it really is.  i've never called another place home untill here.  it shocked me when i said it.  ive been in melbourne now for around 4 months, and i have had a 'savage' (word used by all the irish lads i work with) time.  Living in South Yarra is like living off allerton road but just a million times better.  chapel street has everything on it possible.  i love the fact that everything in this city is so close to the city, the MCG, Rod Laver the new swan street stadium and even the Ethiad stadium is fairly central.  its such a clean and green city that has a quality night life and plenty to see and do during the days. 

I’ve been in Sydney for the last few days, I’m actually flying back to Melbourne today.  Sydney is a funny city, unlike Melbourne, their is no lure to move outside of the city boundaries and see the suburbs,  you might get as far as kings cross, but still that’s only around 15 minute walk.  where as the likes of chapel street and St Kilda are way outside the CBD in Melbourne.

I went to the big day out festival on Saturday.  i had a really good day, only shame was that i was on me own.  Roz couln't make it and i couldn’t shift the ticket to any of the lads.  it would have been nice to share the day with somebody, the same goes with Australia day yesterday.  it was cool to see all the flyovers down the harbour n stuff, but again would have been great to be on the ale with a few lads or something.  its maybe something that i should get used to being alone travelling, but hopefully me and Roz get on the road soon.  if that don’t happen i;m really unsure what i'm going to do.  it would be easy to stay in Melbourne but also a waste.  i should get up the coast and on the ale, but i'd also love to do it with somebody else.  it might read that travelling alone is shite, its not.  you really do meet so many more people, and you can do whatever whenever, but i just guess it has its pros and cons.

hopefully when i go back today i'll still have a job.  they owe me about a grand and i really need it, i will get it but i need a job for the next few weeks so i can make it up to alice springs and beyond.  if i dont i'll try and land another job, but ill also call in some funds from back home. 

ive got no idea when i'l be back. august would be my best guess, but lets see what happens with that.  i'm starting to think past my first year here and think about the next year.  what do i want?  do i want to spend another year away?  do i want to go home and play football?  can i afford another year?  its staring to wreck me head a little.  maybe its a nice position to be in, but i like to know what i'm doing in advance.

hopefully on me way back home i'll get to go to Dubai and see our chris, that would be cool.

one thing for sure is i'm making leeds.  the decade.  the whole 10 years, fuck me that  has flown.

hopefully i'll try and blog a little more, i thought i would when i left but here i am 5 months later writing my first